Incompatibility of Myers Briggs Types
Besides Myers Briggs compatibility models, there are also several theories on the incompatibility of the types that emerged at the same time and have been long studied by psychologists and couple therapists in order to decide their viability. I will present three of them which appear to be the most popular. How reliable they actually are, is something you’ll have to decide for yourself.
Interaction Styles Incompatibility
This theory is based on the Interaction Styles model, which proposes four main categories in which the 16 types are grouped. It is based on four preferred ways of social interacting and it’s usually very helpful in explaining and improving team work dynamics. For more clarity I will summarize each of these categories and tell you where each type fits:
Chart-the-Course: INFJ, ISTJ, INTJ, ISTP
These types are usually talented at planning and determining a feasible couse of action for attaining a certain goal. They’re usually analytical and conceptualizing and shine at forseeing possible obstacles and outlining a good strategy in a variety of situations.
Get-thing-Going: ENFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ESFP
These types are natural motivators, great at energizing and involving people in a project. They’re upbeat, enthusiastic and open to new ideas and possibilities. Can be charismatic leaders with very expressive personalities and a desire to engage others in everything they do.
In-Charge: ENFJ, ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP
Goal-oriented, direct and efficient, these types are natural leaders who focus mainly on results and effectiveness. They are energetic action people, fast decision-makers and very aware of whatever needs to be corrected and improved. They shine at mobilizing resources, mentoring people and monitoring a project.
Behind-the-Scenes: INFP, INTP, ISFJ, ISFP
These types are usually talented at defining, claryfing and improving different aspects of a project. They are patient, reserved and prefer to work in the backgound, where they gather information, mine for new data and consult different sources in order to better understand the process. They do well in research and counseling.
The Interaction Styles incompatibility theory suggests that the following styles are very likely to experience great stress when interacting:
Chart-the-Course least compatible with Get-thing-Going
/ in other words: INFJ, ISTJ, INTJ, ISTP least compatible with ENFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ESFP
In-Charge least compatible with Behind-the-Scenes
/ in other words: ENFJ, ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP least compatible with INFP, INTP, ISFJ, ISFP
McAlpine's “Opposing Personality”
This model is based on Beebe’s 8 functions theory and it states that incompatibility happens between the types with the same functions but opposite attitudes.
It has been verified by psychologist Ken Liberty through a live research that included several married couples, which revealed that the types with inverted attitudes (listed below) were having the most trouble getting along in the relationship. Liberty described them as “fighting every other minute”.
ESTJ least compatible with: ISTP
ESTP least compatible with: ISTJ
ESFJ least compatible with: ISFP
ESFP least compatible with: ISFJ
ENTJ least compatible with: INTP
ENTP least compatible with: INTJ
ENFJ least compatible with: INFP
ENFP least compatible with: INFJ
ISTJ least compatible with: ESTP
ISTP least compatible with: ESTJ
ISFJ least compatible with: ESFP
ISFP least compatible with: ESFJ
INTJ least compatible with: ENTP
INTP least compatible with: ENTJ
INFJ least compatible with: ENFP
INFP least compatible with: ENFJ
McAlpine's “Dynamic Opposites”
This is the second incompatibility theory proposed by McAlpine and is based this time on opposing functions. The preferred cognitive process of one type is the least-conscious process of the other, thus creating the opportunity for a lot of tension and misunderstanding. Here are this model’s incompatible types:
ESTJ least compatible with: ENFJ
ESTP least compatible with: ENFP
ESFJ least compatible with: ENTJ
ESFP least compatible with: ENTP
ENTJ least compatible with: ESFJ
ENTP least compatible with: ESFP
ENFJ least compatible with: ESTJ
ENFP least compatible with: ESTP
ISTJ least compatible with: INFJ
ISTP least compatible with: INFP
ISFJ least compatible with: INTJ
ISFP least compatible with: INTP
INTJ least compatible with: ISFJ
INTP least compatible with: ISFP
INFJ least compatible with: ISTJ
INFP least compatible with: ISTP
Here are some good books on Myers Briggs compatibility:
Just Your Type: Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type
Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate
16 Ways to Love Your Lover
Wired for Conflict: The Role of Personality in Resolving Differences
Marriage Types
The Intimacy Factor: How Your Personality and Your Past Affect Your Ability to Love and be Loved
Intimacy and Type: A Practical Guide for Improving Relationships for Couples and Counselors
Comments
But now this is telling me that that is exactly the opposite of what I shoudl go for! gaahhh
The truth is it's not that simple to make sense of this bundle of theories. Besides, compatibility is not determined by Myers Briggs type alone, but a series of various factors (including social environment and intellectual ability).
I myself have developed one theory relating to Myers Briggs compatibility. It is the one based on the secondary function (you can find it in Compatibility for MB types part 1). So obviously if I had to advise you, I'd go with my own explanation. :)
In any case a general rule that seems to apply to compatibility issues is that often (but not always), people who share the same S/N and P/J preference tend to get along better.
INTP: This is a good post. Thanks for spending the time communicating all those different takes on compatibility.
It would be interesting to see if there's anything to marriage satisfaction and type. Who has this data though, and down to a more base question - do the types we're trying to describe though current typing describe enough?
The Big-five and Neo-PI have 5 and 6 dimensions of personality, but as near as I can see, nobody has been able to put them into a theory of types yet (at least one that intuitively 'feels right' like the MBTI or Enneagram).
Other than a couple studies like the following, it doesn't seem like science pays much attention to mating and personality:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/382007
Socionics IMO has the most interesting/detailed theory on how different personality types relate to each other. In that system, I should be seeking out my dual, an ISFP. Don't know many ISFPs, so it's hard to prove/disprove their duality matchup.
Is it the same for straight people?
I am an ISFJ and wonder if my most compatible partner would still be an ISFJ/ESFJ or ISTP/ESTP or ENFJ or ISTJ/ESTJ.